A guy-friend girl could basically be summed up in two words: Sarah Miller. I served my time with the female population at a single-gender high school, and while I love my lady friends, there really is nothing so pleasant as a great bloke friend. This is basically what my bloke friendships entail: beer, and banter. This is why I love them so much, because my diarrhoea mouth that runs on sarcasm generally leads to pissed off lady friends, but is just taken as face value crap by dudes. That rocks my socks. And my lady friends who get me are the absolute loves of my life, because they’re smart self-assured diamonds in the rough.
It’s not so great for networking though. It’s especially not so great for work situations, like those where the women gather to discuss children, relationships and specific to Singapore, managing their maids. Pass me a beer and point me to the closest bloke please.
But then comes that awkward moment when you approach a few men to join their conversation, and they graciously allow you to join, with the most uneasy look on their face. They’re so uneasy in fact, you can tell this is the face they used when they introduced their brother to their brand new mother-in-law, and the brother happened to be Bernard Black from Black Books.
Honestly, I don’t know if it will ever get better for me. LIke does there get a point where I’m unattractive enough that I can be straight but accepted like some asexual unicorn with absolutely no threat potential whatsoever? I will have to re-assess this in 20 years time. I do honestly wish I could be in the boys club though. Y’all get to talk about such interesting things, keep each other to a code of decency, and party hard without constantly assessing each other’s reputation – I want to go to there.
Don’t worry though. Despite the awkwardness and raised eyebrows, I still say screw it and speak to whoever I like. And Lord help me if I have to speak about one more diet and exercise regime while waiting to make my move to the other side of the room. For the record, small chat topics I will indulge in include: tv, movies, tv, celebrity dirt, Youtube viral videos, annoying people on Facebook, stand up comedy, real politics, and cooking. Small chat topics that turn me into Ron Swanson from Parks and Recration include: weight, domestic duties, shopping, celebrity PR, tabloid politics, and anything approving about pop music that’s not ironic (in the hipster sense of irony).
On a momentarily serious note though, this whole crap vibe of ‘appropriateness’ of women speaking to men is yet another reason that the glass ceiling is continuing to break birds’ necks.
Btw, if you’re wondering how I can be employed in HR, and write about HR – here‘s my explanation.